she probably feels that if you get a boyfriend that you will spend less time with her.What is my daughter trying to tell me?She is seeking your attention. Reassure her that you love her very much and that a guy won't stand in the way of that. I wish you the best of luck!!
maybe she feels that you wont have enough love to go around and might feel as if you wont spend any time with her.What is my daughter trying to tell me?the one thing I got from your question is there's a bunch of different guys around. Maybe you shouldn't bring them around your daughter until you are in a serious relationship with them.What is my daughter trying to tell me?
It obvious she's not happy at the thought of you dating probably because it's always been just you two but you need to sit her down and have a talk explaining that when mommy does decide to date it is your choice but also make sure to spend time with the guy with her a lot to help ease her fears. I also would not let her get away with temper tantrums no matter how she feels screaming and throwing things is not appropriate.
you need to make sure when all 3 of you are together that you still focus on her as well. She is probably used to having all of your attention.What is my daughter trying to tell me?
You need to take control of this situation. Who's in charge here? You or her? Did you punish her for trashing the living room? Don't let her get away with this behavior. She is going to have to get used to the fact that mommy is going to meet men.
Could her father maybe have something to do with the attitude?
Sounds like she is super jealous of you. My sister's daughter was/is the same way. Her and her husband (The little girls daddy) could not even sleep together for her. She did not want nobody near my sister. She acted that way when they split up too but worse, she pulled a knife on my sister and she was only 9. Her daughter was happy when my sister and her daddy divorced.
She still yet calls my sister wh*res when my sister dates or whatever. She is now 12. I am telling you maybe you need to get help with her anger before she might end up bad like my sisters little girl.
Though she is a bit more tamed, she acts like she is my sisters mother , really she acts like she is the one who is married to my sister. I know this sounds so messed up but you would have to know them to know what i am trying to write about.
Is her father involved with her? If he is, she may be feeling threatened that another man may try to take his place, but I think mainly she is just worried that a boyfriend will take mommy away from her and she won't always be the center of attention at home.
I would sit her down and have a talk with he rabout her behavior and try to reassure her that when mommy is ready to have a boyfriend that you will talk to her about him but that she will always be first no matter what.
Hope this helps
Well... she told you. She afraid that another person in your life, sill take away time and love that she gets from you.
Try making a certain night each week yours and hers to go do something together without any male friends around, tell her that will always be a day for the two of you. Maybe it will help her be more secure with how she thinks you will feel about her if there is a man around. Also try to do things that include her when you have a man over so she doesn't feel left out, she may think that whenever you have someone over she will be ignored and will do things to get attention. Make sure he pays at least some attention to her too, if it isn't someone who is willing to pay attention to your daughter at all then you may want to consider if he is someone you really need to have around as a friend or a boyfriend. When you do want time alone try to find something that will keep her busy so she's not bored and craving attention even more.
I had the same problem
You have to include her in your date
like go bowling or some type of activity that she feels part of
She's to young to understand that you have enough love for her and a signifigant other
She just needs to be reassured that she's not losing you, And with kids her age words are not enough
And also limit any affection with your date this makes her uncomfortable
She cant help this behavior
She needs time to adjust
You might also think about getting a baby sitter sometimes, This can take a toll on even the most understanding guys
I commend you for wanting to resolve this issue , Most mothers put there needs over the childs!!!
Good luck
Maybe you need to consider having a stable relationship and stop with all the different men coming into her life. You might even think about marriage, to the right man of course. One that would be a father figure to her.
Hello lishaxlis...,
Being that I am not a profesional I am only giving you my opinion based on my experiances to include things I have learned or been told by others. I'm 40 have 3 girls and my oldest is almost 14. So I am qualifed as a parent to pass on good information to you.
The reason why your daughter is having a hard time with you having guy friends around is because she feels threatend that your going to leave her. This is why she acts out. Does she have any contact with her father? It would benifit her to be able to see her dad if possible as long as he is not a threat to you or her. I would meet at a public place and have a family memember go with you if you feel uncomfortable.
Keep in mind that even though your daughter is only 5 now this situtation is only going to get worse if you do not handle it. It will also help her to seek professional counciling. She has trust issues with guys. I sence abandonment from male figures and possible abuse. I hope I am wrong about this. As being a survivor of sexual abuse myself, it is imparative that you get her the help she needs now. Even if she did not (and hopefully has not experianced any abuse) she is going through a very hard time and my even be afraid of losing you. This is why she acts out. She acts out to get your attention and will do anything possitive or negitive to keep your attention fixed on her.
Professional councilers who are quailfied are trained to work with children and can get through to them better than we can as a parent sometimes.
One last thing I want to mention that will help you until you can get this under control. Unless she knows the guy from before don't bring him around her your house until she has accepted the fact that you have guy friends and that it is o.k. with it. She has gone through some trama of some sort and is not deal with this well.
I hope this is of help to you. Hang in there it will get better.
She is reacting to whatever you taught her about her real father. If you have negative comments about him, anger or resentment to him then she possibly might think that all men are like this. It is threatening to her and she feels like you will love them more than her. Whatever guy you meet, do not let her meet him unless you are %100 sure he is the one you will stick with forever.
It seems like maybe you need to stop letting her meet these guys until you find some one that you are really serious about and then you should let her meet him and you both need to let her know that just because he is there does not mean that you don't love her....and make sure that you make time with her alone with just you and her and also involve her in things with the boyfriend.
Why is she seeing so many male "friends"? It is in her best interests to NOT be introduced to your companions until they are the stable relationship that you want. At that point, the guy will be able to love your daughter too, and she will be happy to accept love and attention from both of you.
It is not proper to have a parade of men in and out of her life. All that will do is teach her that men are disposable and unstable.
Since you have decided so far to not have a stable relationship, perhaps you should simply stop dating until you are ready for such a relationship. This is OBVIOUSLY affecting your daughter and she comes before any man or any of your "needs". Time to suck it up, mom, and sacrifice for the good of your child.
i think your daughter thinks that if u love a man that u won't love her anymore because, its like u would love him more than her!!!!
First of all, if none of these dudes that you let her see and meet are not 'stable', then she shouldn't even KNOW about them. And it's so obvious that she is jealous of your time that you are spending with these men. Do you keep her involved with you and other men while they are there or do you tell her to go play in her room or go do something? She is needing your attention.
You have to balance your time. She will have to accept you having someone else besides her in your life, but you should also prioritize your time better if she goes crazy like that every time you bring someone over.
And it's a horrible idea to introduce several men in your daughters life that come and go. That is teaching her that it's ok to screw anyone she wants to when she grows up. Start acting your age, chica.
You're just NOT acting like a parent! Give her attention, assure her that you love her, let her know you are looking for a man and why. Tell her how lonely you are (without a man) and she just needs to accept this.
She will only get worse if you don't do something NOW!!!!!!!!!!1
She needs to know that you are the parent - NOT her! She also needs to know that when she behaves likes this, when a man is visiting, then she will lose privileges and/or be punished!
yeah my kids never like to share me either...i just make sure i give them the same amount of attention I always have and don't feed into the guilt
you r the parent she is the child period eventually she will get over it but if u let her run your life now she will be running your life all the time remember your the mom she is the kid
Your daughter is probably used to it being just her and Mom. She is also probably scared that you will stop loving her or not love her as much if you have a boyfriend. I think you should talk to her and tell her that no matter what you will always love her, and that you don't have to take away some of her love to give it to someone else. I'm sure this will pass soon; good luck :]
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