Thursday, January 26, 2012

How can I move past the fact that my family hates the man I love?

My Boyfriend has a bad drinking problem and one night he blacked out after drinking too much and got physical with me, well there were marks so my whole family knows. We broke up for a few weeks but now we are back together trying to make it work we love eachother deeply, and he is working on his problem. However my family wants to kill him. They don't know him very well and now they will never give him a chance I am so happy with him and I want them to be happy for me. I know there is no excuse for what he did and he knows that too. Is there a way to make this situation right?How can I move past the fact that my family hates the man I love?It is good that you are both aware that what he did is unexcuseable. You should keep in mind that whether or not you are with him is your desicion. It might be considerate to think of your family, realizing that your being with this guy will effect them, too, but don't let them just talk you out of being with someone you love.



YOu know what he has done to you. You know that he is working on his problem but that it is still, nevertheless, a problem. Whether you stay with him is up to you. But be aware of the repercussions: if it works out and he eventually gets over his drinking thing, then kudos for the two of you, and you will probably be happy with each other. He'll be totally impressed that you helped him through his difficult time. But what if it doesn't work out? What are you going to do if he starts drinking again? Love or not, you need to think of your safety. It sounds like you two are confident that he'll never get physical again, and that is good. But wou;dn't you have said the same thing before he got physical last time? Not trying to scare you out of being with him, but you need to know that whatever the two of you say will or will not happen, being stoned can makew people do crazy things, things they would never do if they were sober. He can love you more than life itself but if he gets drunk he may not be able to control himself, regardless of whatever promises he's made that he wouldn't. So if you stay in this relationship, if you decide that you love him enough to be there for him in his most difficult time, then it is partly up to you to help him get clean. He will need to do a lot of work to get entirely clean, but a portion falls onto you. Do you think you can handle that? If you two are truly in love, then answering that question should be easy.



As for your family, do not let them entirely dictate over your lovelife. The best way to impress them will be for your boyfriend to go entirely free of alcohol. If they are being entirely overbearing, then you need to have a talk with them. Tell thim firmly but politely that you love this man and that you are going to help him through his problem. You are aware of how things might turn out, and you are more that willing to risk it. Do not under any circumstances let them control who you are dating. Whether you are with him is entirely up to you. Do not shout if it comes to a heated arguement with your family over this, just calmly tell them that the matter is out of their hands and that more than anything you really need their support.



Remember that the reason your family hates this man is because they love you and they don't want anything to happen to you. Keep that in mind and don't be angry at them for being protective, okay?How can I move past the fact that my family hates the man I love?This is rough for you and your family.

Your family is concerned for your welfare, that is completely natural.

As for your boyfriend, if he is truly seeking and USING the help he is getting then more power to him.

I have seen this situation myself, and I know a man can change for the better, but I believe if he screws up again he will have alot to account for when we find out.

The drinking plays a very large role in this. But DO NOT LET HIM USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE. BLACKOUTS OR NOT IS NO REASON....

Yeah they happen I know some people do not believe they do but it happens.

Just let your family see that you are happy with him, let them see what he is doing with and for you and hopefully they will come around.

I just pray for your sake that he isn't just pulling the wool over your eyes. Love can be blind so please get help yourself along with him. This is a two way thing. So it will take the both of you...

Bless you both and best of all to youHow can I move past the fact that my family hates the man I love?Just always remember ur family will be there for u when no one else will. I'm going though something like this with my brother. And he knows i will always be there for him and the girls he goes with will not. But hun i hate to tell u when they got a drinkin prob. they will always have one u cant change it, they have to want help and go get it and it takes about 3 months to 6 months sometimes a year. Just always remember ur family does love u and always will.
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