I have been married to my wife for 7 years and we have 2 small children under 6 years old. Last year I met the woman of my dreams. I would see her outside on her break when I would drive past in the afternoons sometimes, and something about her made my heart churn. I had no idea who she was, or what her name was. Then she ended up being my daughter's tee ball coach, so I finally got to meet her. We started emailing, and it wasn't long before we where in a full blown affair. She had been living with her boyfriend for 5 years at that point, and had 2 kids from her ex husband. It started out mostly for sex cause we where both in relationships with people that where selfish and cruel. My wife was a very bitter woman and never had anything nice to say. Her boyfriend is an asshole that insults her and yells at her kids. We started seeing each other in August 2008. Then in September 2008 we became co workers. We would hide in spare rooms and closets at least once a day for a few moments alone. Her boyfriends works out of town most of the time, so I would stop by her house for an hour or so at least one night a week and would make love. I have never felt so amazing my in my entire life. I was happy like I never knew I could be. I got her a ring for Christmas. Nothign fancy, but a token of my love. She told me she never took it off, even showered with it on. That when we where apart it reminded her of how much I loved her. Then for my birthday in March she got me a ring. I couldn't wear it because I don't even wear a watch, and for me to start suddenly wearing a ring would have made my wife start asking questions. But I carried it in my pocket all the time. Several times she tearfully broke up with me because she said she couldn't handle the guilt of cheating, and because it was too painful for not have me 100% to herself, but have to share me with my wife. But it never lasted more than a day and she was calling me, apologizing for being crazy and saying she couldn't be without me. In mid June 2009 we where going stronger than ever, then all of a sudden she started getting distant. Not saying I love you anymore. Not emailing or texting me as often. Not having time to see me in the evenings. The last time we made love June 22nd, and she was distracted. Said she was worried about her boyfriend calling while I was there. The sex was hurried and unfulfilling.When I would ask what was wrong, she would say nothing was wrong, an obvious lie. Finally she told me she just couldn't do it anymore. It hurt too much. She said she would be there when I was divorced, but she wouldn't be with me until then. She said she felt like she was being used and that I would never leave my wife. That I had no reason to as long as I was getting the best of both worlds, having her any time I wanted her and not having to leave my wife. So we've remained friends, and it is killing me not to be able to have her to hold. I could do without the sex. I just want her to love me. I want to leave my wife, but I am worried about the impact on my kids. My kids mean the world to me and can't bear the though of hurting them. I mentioned to my girlfriend about a new female friend from work, and she was immediately jealous. Crazy jealous! So that tells me that she still has feelings for me, and she must be hurting as much as I am over this separation between us. But she is always cold in text messages. She is going to nursing school and I know that she is really really busy with homework and kids, having to do it all alone since her boyfriend only comes home on the weekends. What do I do? Do I keep hanging on waiting for her to come back to me while I am looking for the right time to leave my wife? Do I forget her? she once told me she hated her life without me, and having me in secret was better than not having me at all. I still feel that way about her. She is all I think about, I can't seem to focus on much cause she is in the way. It wasn't like that when I was secure in our love. I am worried that if I leave my wife for, what if it doesn't work out and I put my kids through all that for nothing? Is her lack of commitment to me while I am trying to figure out the best way and time to leave my wife an indication of a probable lack of commitment later on? I just don't know what to do or where to go. I never should have gotten involved with her in the first place, but now it is too late.|||Sure, go for it!
Just don't get anyone pregnant, okay?|||God damn that was frigan long|||yanno buddy its men like you that ruin it for the really great guys out there...your wondering if you should leave your wife....your a real piece of sh@t.....first off she is with someone so she is cheating on him to be with you....do you really honestly think that she will be faithful to you???....you want my advice leave your wife she deserves much much better then you....thru out all you have written i see no remorse within you for your actions its all about what You want what you Feel..............your a selfish prick!!!!!......oh for the record good sex does NOT make for a lasting relationship asshole.....shes a cheater so are you.... you both belong together!!!!!!!!!!....|||You should consider divorce from your wife and she should leave her boyfriend. Don't spend the rest of your life in unfulfilling relationships. You should be with the one you love as you only go around once in your life. Make sure that you are a good dad to your children, as they are the most important.|||If you think there is any way you can rekindle the relationship with your wife that should be your top priority. By repairing your broken marriage you can provide your children with the home they deserve. If you and your wife divorce you are hurting your children's chances of having a successful relationship in the future, especially if that divorce is for you to leave for another woman. Don't you think your children will be afraid you will leave them for someone as well? I am not going to bash you for cheating because we are all capable of it. Anyone who says they aren't vulnerable at times is a liar.
So the best thing for you to do is cut all ties with this other woman if you are serious about saving your relationship with your wife. You should seek counseling to heal your marriage and help you work through this hard time. You should think of your children. What will they think of you if you leave for another woman? Someday the fairy tale will be over with your mistress too....|||Why do ppl who cheat make excuses... ANYONE can find a reason to cheat stop trying to make yourself feel better about being a cheat. If your spouses are so cruel and selfish why aren't they the ones cheating THERE IS NO ACT IN A MARRIAGE MORE CRUEL AND SELFISH THAN CHEATING!!!!|||Do your poor wife a favour and leave! With or without the slut your apparently falling in love with. Don't think it'll last either..cause we all know real relationships don't happen that way..unless your a Jerry Springer guest. The fact that you actually want some sort of sympathy is quite insulting to all women and mothers on this site. I am disgusted at how you think you should make a choice between the mother of your children or this ho who sleeps around. I hope you end up with the slut..so she can eventually cheat on your *** later on!|||Well, if you leave your marriage before 10 years, you may be able to avoid the "alimony for life" bit of divorce. However, think long and hard about the road with this other woman. I know it's all hot and steamy now, but do you really see it staying that way after a few years......?|||This breaks my heart, I might be a softy but I started crying. Your poor wife.
You are a terrible person.
You're selfish , inconsiderate and disgusting
I say divorce the wife, pay child support for the rest of your life, and stay with the cheating g.f. Both of you are cheaters, and what goes around, comes around. She's totally scewing that b.f of hers when he's in town.Shes riding him like a cowboy|||Do you even love your wife? Regardless if you have another love in your life you should not be with someone if you don't love them. Can you work your relationship out with your wife. I am married and have 2 kids with my husband, and I would want to know if he still loves me, I would hate to find out that he is cheating on me, I think that would hurt me more. I would not want him to be with me if he did not love me anymore. Your true love may wait for you, but if she does not, do you still want to be with your wife. I know it will be hard on the kids, but sometimes people do fall out of love with each other. Just make sure you are there for your kids.|||it doesn't matter if your wife is a selfish, horrible woman, you're still selfish and horrible yourself for cheating on her. don't expect tom come on here and get sympathy for that, because you won't. even if you leave your wife for this slut, it's not going to work out because you'll never be able to trust one another because you already know in the backs of your minds what kind of person you both are. do yourself a favor, leave your wife and your mistress, and don't get involved in another relationship until you grow the **** up and learn what it is to be a man instead of an oversexed little boy. do you really think it's not going to hurt your children when they find out what a manslut you are? if you truly gave a rat's *** about them, you'd have avoided this other woman once you started getting feelings for her and you'd have at least tried to fix your relationship with your wife. for THEIR sake. so save the "oh, i'm with the wife for the children" crap for someone who actually believes it.|||I'm not reading all that -
My advise is to think long and hard before you make any drastic moves that will not only affect you but your CHILDREN too|||First of all to long of a question.
You and her are both TROLLS.
You should have left your wife long before you cheated.
All those poor poor kids.
You are so blind dude...she has kids from a previous marriage, she's shacking up with a nother dude, and having an affair with you, and you don't think she'll do this to you?
And this is your so called "woman of your dreams"?
good luck with that TROLL.|||Gee that's so funny, you seem really good at name calling and demonizing everyone else. That question wasn't a question at all, you're just looking for someone to agree with you. It's not going to happen here.
All I can say is make sure your wife is financially stable before you go. It's the least you could do for cheating on her all this time. Oh, and you won't mind giving up your rights to your children either since you don't seem to have cared much for them while you were still married to their 'selfish and cruel' mother. Let them be with their mother, who I am sure gives them much more of her time and attention since she isn't out screwing her daughter's tee ball coach. Your girlfriend sounds like a real lovely lady, ha ha.|||I wish I could help but I feel asleep half way though the book you wrote.|||You should leave your wife, not for your sake, but for hers. She deserves someone who doesn't cheat and who doesn't regard her as "bitter and cruel". The kindest thing you could do is end the lie you're forcing everyone around you to live.
As for the other woman, once you leave your wife I think a lot of your questions about her will be answered.|||Your wife will be delighted when she finds out you are leaving, she needs the man of her dreams in her life too 1 you could never be and your kids need a good father which you obviously are not or you wouldn't do this to the woman who carried them for 9 months.
To put it simply you are a pig and jerk,|||So you're saying the Love of Your Life...is a cheater?
Yeah, she sounds like a good catch! GO FOR IT!
I'd say...since you're a cheater too...you two deserve each other!
Oh and while you're at it...why not think of your children...and how they will feel...once grown...when their spouses, and the father/mother of their children....leave them for their newly found loves! (AKA: The grass seems greener on the other side) What good role models you two are! Father of the Year!
Yeah! Living the dream Baby!|||WOW! go ahead leave your wife, she will find someone better. You on the other hand will continue cheating because you will never be satisfied or your dream girl will have someone over riding her hard and putting her away wet while your at work, this will all come back too bite you in the rear..... Good Riddance
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